a healing presence in the world
Heart to Heart Families
Parenting with Nonviolent Communication
Description of Basic Approach
Heart-to-Heart Parenting: A 4-week Series for Parents & Caregivers brings a holistic approach to understanding your child’s behavior and gives you the tools and awareness to address situations with far more clarity about what’s important to you and what’s a fit for everyone involved. This pilot program is based on Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication (NVC).
Join Heart to Heart’s Steve Tumolo and Jeannie Anderson as they guide you through the process of building relationships based on compassion, connection, and trust with your child. You will also develop an awareness of language that builds connection, collaboration, empathy, and empowerment.
"Nonviolent Communication completely shifted the way I connect with my children and my family. It's helped me to understand the needs beneath my children’s behavior and my own! And it's helped me to develop a deep,connected relationship with my children and my partner." - Parent of a 5 year-old and 8 year-old
“Parenting with Nonviolent Communication helps me to accept my kids’ emotions, all of them. When they're jealous, when they're scared, when they're angry. And I'm not here to fix that, to fix their emotions. Just listening to them is enough." - Parent of 2 teenageers
“Parenting with Nonviolent Communication has given my family a clear path through conflict and big emotions. I’m more relaxed about other people’s choices and more calm and compassionate when someone is upset. I feel more seen and understood because I share more of my feelings and needs. Nonviolent Communication makes my time with my young-adult daughter really enjoyable. I get to watch her move through her love relationship with curiosity and without criticism.” - Parent of 3 young-adult children
Support in developing important skills for yourself and your family.
Reduced parenting stress and a sense of satisfaction in your parenting choices.
Greater cooperation, harmony and enjoyment in your family!
Learning in a supportive community with opportunities to continue skills practice
4 consecutive weeks on Thursdays from 7-8:30pm EST.
June 3 - June 24, 2021.
$225 for one parent; $150 for second parent.
Full Course Details
What does the course cover?
In this course, you will learn practical tools that, used together over time, will build closeness and cooperation with your child while developing and modeling skills for life.
You will learn tools to:
Respond to your child’s needs rather than react to their behavior
Increase your ability to handle stressful situations with a calm presence
Create an environment where children feel heard, valued, and supported, even when you’re saying ‘No’
De-escalate conflict while building trust and connection
Cultivate internal motivation to encourage cooperation rather than developing a dependency on rewards or compliance to avoid punishment
Develop your child’s emotional intelligence
Respond to self-disappointment with understanding and care rather than inner criticism, growing the ability to model empowering self-care
Understand and communicate limits with confidence and empathy
Say ‘No’ without feeling guilty
Cultivate an empowering relationship with all emotions and new confidence to support intense reactions.
Balance your needs with the needs of others
Move from reactivity to responsiveness
Discover blind spots in the use of language that keeps us trapped in habitual stereotypes, bias, and limiting beliefs.
About the Facilitators:
Steve Tumolo is Executive Director of Heart to Heart. He is a trauma-responsive educator who specializes in accompanying learners through transitional and transformational moments of their lives. His unique approach brings together Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication, the body’s natural capacity for healing, and a holistic understanding of life. Steve is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP), T’ai Chi Chih instructor, and a certified trainer with the Center for Nonviolent Communication. Steve has a bachelor’s degree in Management from Boston College, a master’s degree in theology from the Maryknoll School of Theology and is a Ph.D. candidate in leadership at Gonzaga University. He is the recipient of the Elizabeth Ann Bogert Memorial Award for the Study and Practice of Christian Mysticism and the OPUS Vision Award from Pacifica Graduate Institute. His work in correctional facilities has been featured in the Philadelphia Inquirer and NBC News and commended by the New Jersey State Legislature.
Chris Hartstein is a Parent Educator, Robbins-Madanes Coach and the co-author and illustrator of An Inside Story: A Children’s Book for Grown-Ups Too!. Chris is the mother of three adult children and has over 400 hours of training in Nonviolent Communication. She facilitates a weekly practice group that began in 2013 when her relationship with her teen daughter needed help. She occasionally leads Baltimore area workshops and serves as the treasurer of Capital NVC. Chris wrote An Inside Story because she is profoundly grateful that the simple concepts and skills she learned in her Nonviolent Communication training created healing in her family. She wants more parents to know these possibilities!
Filipa Hope is an international parent educator whose unique blend of child development and Nonviolent Communication provides a framework of growth for you and your child. She is the parent of young adult daughters and resides in New Zealand. Since 2015 Filipa has been supporting Nonviolent Communication programs in the US in person. She is now working internationally online including joining Heart to Heart. One of Filipa's underlying perspectives and motivations behind her work is 'People don't need to be saved or rescued, they need knowledge of their power and how to access it'. Nonviolent Communication has been a blessing for helping her discover this in herself, and grow to enable sharing these essential life skills in empowering ways with others.
What parents have to say about Parenting with Nonviolent Communication:
“I’m realizing that taking care of myself is a necessity in order to have the resources to show up for my family. This is a huge shift away from what I learned growing up, which was to take care of everyone else first. This is a chance to break generational patterns in my family.” - Mom
“I used the observation skills we discussed last week to approach an ongoing issue with my daughter. I felt like I opened the conversation anew in a positive way using those skills.” - Mom teenage
“Something about this process is very witch-crafty to me. That you can go in feeling so angry with someone that you’re ready to just punch them in the face. And by the end of 3 minutes, feel compassion for that person. It’s really transformative really fast. It’s remarkable to be a part of.” - Mom
“In parenting small children, I often make demands. It was very helpful to hear that demands lead to domination and to children submitting to my will and abandoning their own needs. I do not want my children to abandon their needs, nor do I want to abandon mine. Nor do I want them to grow up in a posture of submission or swap to rebellion. Healthy communication, that holds our mutual needs up, feels foundational for healthy relationships. I am both a thinker and a feeler, and this class hits the mark for my head and my heart to learn.” - Mom
“I see that inside an evaluation of my child there’s a need behind that. If I can connect better to my need, it can help me approach my child in a different spirit.” - Dad
“How is it not affecting every corner of my life? It is upending everything that we know about how to communicate with people and how the world has taught us how to communicate for 40+ years. It’s changed the way he and I talk with each other. It’s changed the way we interact with our kids. My kids had a kerfuffle with the neighbors yesterday and my husband and I went from the Nonviolent Communication framework thinking how do we repair this with the other family and with the other children?” - Mom
“It’s been super valuable for us to try to assess our children and the needs that are behind their behaviors and actions that can be challenging for us. I’m not great at assessing the needs behind the behavior in the moment. Sometimes I might lash out in the moment in response when tensions rise. It’s helpful for me to realize that I can pause, stop, go back and repair as well. It’s helpful to realize that when we have years of ingrained habits it takes time to learn this skill set, and recognize that even if we are slow to actively respond in the moment we do have the opportunity to go back and repair.” - Dad
“This class has unearthed a wellspring of emotions and needs that I just really have never been trained to access or be aware of. It’s giving myself permission, and asking myself, and putting myself in the fore, and that piece of considering where am I before looking at others. It’s really just cracked me open.” - Mom
What is Parenting with Nonviolent Communication Level 1? How is it presented?
This is the introductory class of Parenting with Nonviolent Communication. Through this 8-week class you will learn skills and awareness with: Communication that enhances understanding and connection, and the habitual use of language creates disconnection and stimulates reactivity. Delivered live online via Zoom, the classes are presented in 90-minute sessions. Once you have registered and paid you will receive an invitation to the Zoom calls.
What do I need in order to access the class?
You will need high speed internet access to participate in the class, as well as access to a printer for printing handouts and pen and paper. It helps if you can organize some dedicated child-free time for the 90-minute sessions. We ask that you keep your cameras on during these experiential sessions. We know there may be distractions and things happening in your homes. That’s ok! We want to be able to get to know each other and part of that is being able to see and interact with you.
How much does it cost?
$225 for first parent; $150 for second parent.
(Repeating participants will receive a 50% discount.)
***We want this class to be available to every family. Please contact Heart to Heart to inquire about scholarships if the cost is prohibitive. firstname.lastname@example.org.
Who is the class for?
Fathers, Mothers, and other caregivers of children.
What ages of children does it apply to?
Parenting with Nonviolent Communication Level 1 tools and mindset work with all ages of children as well as adults.
How long is the course?
Parenting with Nonviolent Communication Level 1 runs for 8 weeks.
Dates: Tuesdays, May 18th - July 6th, 2021. 7-8:30pm
Will there be opportunities to further learning after the course?
YES! Opportunities to continue learning include:
Creating or joining an ongoing practice group for mutual support among parents and caregivers.
Additional classes and learning opportunities are available to those who complete Level 1.
**Additional details on continuing your learning will be provided during the class.
How do I register?
© 2021 by Heart-to-Heart Comienzos East Inc.